“The Gay HIV Infector ”

I have a dilemma today. I want to write about Gay people who are HIV positive and who purposefully infect other Gay men. The behavior appalls me but the person doesn’t. So I write from that perspective. I also write from the perspective of one who has lost some friends to AIDS, watched some people die from it, and now watch some live with it.

I don’t understand fully a person who purposefully infects another person. I believe it comes from an angry, self-loathing place turned outward. I’ve heard the argument that everyone needs to take care of themselves, so if a person is willing to have unprotected sex then it’s equally their fault if they become infected. I disagree with the logic. If I have a loaded gun, and I know that gun is going to kill someone who doesn’t know if it is or isn’t loaded, and they ask me to point it at them and pull the trigger, do I not have the responsibility to tell them it’s loaded and to not fire the weapon? I think I do.

I also understand the argument that AIDS is no longer a death sentence. Well for some that is true and for some it is still a killer. Either way your life will change. If you are one of the lucky ones who can take and tolerate the medicines, your medication has now become your life long companion, as has its side effects. If you are a person who can’t tolerate the medicines, your life span has been drastically reduced. Given these truths I’m astounded by the relapse into unprotected sex among the Gay male population. Perhaps the disease has been with us so long we have forgotten what its face looks like, or maybe some of us are too young to even know the devastation it caused and still causes in parts of the world today. All we see is a red ribbon, so nice, antiseptic and clean.

If you are one of those guys who is HIV positive or has AIDS and you purposefully put other men at risk, what happens to them is your fault. The responsibility rests with you to practice safer sex, so it’s your choice to be condemning someone to a life long illness or to a shortened life and a horrible death. It is a horrible death, I’ve seen it multiple times and I wonder if you saw it, would you still do what you do? If your answer is yes, then there is something very wrong with you. Your humanity has been badly damaged by your own anger and hurt over being infected, or by some other hurtful cause. I can’t change your mind but I hope I made you think, and I hope I made some guys who put themselves at risk aware that you are out there preying on them..