Thursday, January 7, 2010

"Pensive"

I’m having a cocoon moment. Honestly I’m a bit weary with life.
I’m tired of caring and tired of fighting. It doesn’t really seem to matter to anyone. When I feel like this I close in for awhile as a form of self care. I don’t get into these moods often. I think it’s my beings way of recharging. By nature I’m a peaceful person who knows how to win a fight. It’s an emotional contrast.

Occasional it makes me take a step back and question the point of things I invest time in. Twitter and this blog are two of those things I’m questioning now. Lately I’ve been reading twitter instead of getting caught up in the conversations. I find it to be a lot of nonsense. There is a lot of posturing by people with sexy pictures, of themselves or not, I do not now. There is a lot of conversation with sexual overtones. There is also a smattering of serious issues such as equal rights and hate crimes. Sadly I’ve noticed that the conversation about the serious issues don’t have as much interest in them as the sexual conversations.

During the holidays I did my best to urge others to open their hearts and share the season with people who have nowhere to go. I don’t know if it helped at all. I really don’t think anyone cared. I actually got some angry direct messages calling me a nuisance and lost some followers.

It’s not just online communities either. The majority of my friends are ill-informed on the status of major issues affecting the LGBT community. I think few could hold their own in a conversation discussing recent event and decisions that pertain to our equal rights. Others have the “Rome wasn’t built in a day” attitude and seem content to wait for the government to get around to LGBT equal rights in their own good time.

It makes me wonder what matters to my community. I’m not talking about having some flirtatious fun; everyone including myself enjoys that about twitter. I’m thinking more about the ignoring of issues and the unpopularity of issues key to putting an end toward the harming of LGBT people by discrimination. It seems folks are more concerned about where there next orgasm is coming from or what the next most popular trend is. We don’t behave as a people at war over our rights. We always need to have fun but for God sakes we also need to be knowledgeable about the issues that affect us and supportive of the people who fight passionately for our rights and quality of life.

In a movie called 1776 about the American Revolution there is a song, I think by John Adams as his frustration in trying to convince the congress to rebel against England spills out. Two lines in the song are sadly sung, “Is anybody there"? Does anybody care"? I suppose that sums up my feelings at this moment.


Is anybody there?
Does anybody care?
Does anybody see what I see?

They want to me to quit; they say
John, give up the fight
Still to England I say
Good night, forever, good night!
For I have crossed the Rubicon
Let the bridge be burned behind me
Come what may, come what may

Commitment!

The croakers all say we'll rue the day
There'll be hell to pay in fiery purgatory
Through all the gloom, through all the gloom
I see the rays of ravishing light and glory!

Is anybody there? Does anybody care?
Does anybody see what I see?

I see fireworks! I see the pagaent and
Pomp and parade
I hear the bells ringing out
I hear the cannons roar
I see Americans - all Americans
Free forever more

How quiet, how quiet the chamber is
How silent, how silent the chamber is

Is anybody there? Does anybody care?
Does anybody see what I see?
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7 comments:

  1. Dear Michael,

    I think it is quite useful to be pensive from time to time, to take a step back and reconsider. You deserve that self care (as you call it) as much as anyone else.

    And speaking for myself I can only say I DO CARE, passionately. About equal rights, about understanding what is going on, about helping others. Last year you have opened my eyes about issues, helped me understand better what is going on and made me think.

    I believe that many people may have had the same experience but not everyone may feel the need to tell you about it (which isn't fair to you!). Not everyone may feel they can express their reaction in words. And not everyone may feel comfortable doing it 'out in the open' for the world to see.

    For my part I say "thank you!" and I promise to become more vocal in my support.

    Hugs,
    Serena

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  2. Michael,

    I am here and I do care. In the short time that I have been reading your blog I have learned many things and feel I am a better person for it. With this new knowledge, I am also trying to learn to use my voice to speak out in support of the LGBT community instead of just keeping my opinions to myself. I doing so, I have come to understand how brave one must be to put there feeling and opinions out there, so I commend you for the work that you do.

    Thank You! You do make a difference because you have made a difference in me.

    MJ

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  3. Hi Michael,

    I'm one of your twitter followers and I do care. Some of what you've written has spurred me to action.

    Average Joe

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  4. Hi Michael,

    I too am one of your Twitter followers (for a few weeks now) and I make it a point to read your blog whenever you post. You are very thoughtful and quite eloquent in your discourse on the issues.

    Is anybody there? Yes. I'm here.
    Does anybody care? Yes. I do.
    Does anybody see what I see? Yes. I see the same things that you do.

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings.

    Indigene (Indigene_1 on Twitter)

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  5. I care & am always blogging/twittering about LGBT isues as well as other socio-political issues affecting the international community. Don't give up hope!

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  6. Take the time you need, Michael. We all require a "recharge". I have recently stepped back from my social media activities because I had that "what's the point" moment. It just seemed that I was calling out into an echo chamber, and apart from the very few who repplied or commented on my blog or tweets; I don't feel that I have succeeded in engaging anyone.

    My most retweets were were from posted quotes -quotes! Yes they can be inspirational in context, but you have to admit, they can be a lazy way out of taking the time to express yourself.

    I've enjoyed reading what you have to say, and you passion about LGBT civil rights don't fall on deaf ears. I sometimes find the message a bit radical, but if it weren't for radicals pushing the envelope, we'd still be marching in Selma.

    Also, I'm careful not to be smug as I'm a married gay man living in a country that affords me all the civil and federal rights that my married sister has who leaves in a different province has. However, I don't takes these rights for granted, and having legal rights doesn't mean that we don't suffer systemic homophobia and discrimination.

    Attaining rights and respect is a perpetual struggle and your voice is important to add to the great big gay rights chorus that must continue to sing for freedom from all corners of the world.

    Thank you.

    ReplyDelete

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