Although highly publicized in recent weeks, Gay teen suicide is not a new phenomenon. Gay teens are at particularly high risk for suicide for several reasons.
These reasons include dealing with their developing sexual orientation and not finding acceptance from family, friends, and society, for who they are born to be, Gay kids. Heterosexual kids may also be a risk for suicide for a variety of reasons but it is unlikely that their sexual orientation is a factor. The difference lies in society’s lack of understanding and lack of acceptance of homosexuality as a norm within its continuum, despite the existence of fact based evidence. The conditions our kids live in begin with the policies of the government we have elected. A government that sponsors terrorism with Gay people as its target through both its active discriminatory policies, and its failure to enact laws that secure the equal civil rights of its Gay citizens.
The American Government is in the business of bullying the Gay community and therefore guilty of creating the conditions that pressure our kids to kill themselves. There are several languishing issues before our government that perpetuate homophobia and homophobic hate among the general population. Each branch of government has a hand in this. I will use the repeal of “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” as an example.
Military service is a sacrifice of time at best and of one’s life at worst. It is fact that Gay men and women can be wounded, maimed and killed no differently than their heterosexual peers in their service to the country. The difference begins and ends in the message the government sends with the continued enforcement of DADT. It says: you may serve us, you may die for us, but you can only do so if you keep who you are a secret from us. If we find out you are Gay, your willingness to serve us is moot, and we will discharge you from service. The message to our youth is this: there is something wrong with you. The message to the general population is: there is something wrong with Gay men and women and they are not to be accepted or thought of as a normal part of humanity.
The President, or the executive branch, has publicly stated the desire to repeal DADT but its actions are contrary to its rhetoric. The President has the ability, and I would argue the moral authority, to issue an order putting an end to the witch-hunt-like discharges of Gay service men and women as repeal of DADT works its way through the courts and the legislative branch. The President has failed to issue this order as he placates the political right and betrays the community that helped elect him. It is a failure to lead, a lack of courage, and an act of bullying. When one has the power to end a wrong done to a person or group of people but fails to act, or when one takes actions to harm a person or group of people less powerful, it is bullying.
Despite a recent court decision finding DADT unconstitutional, the executive branch has ordered the vigorous defense of DADT in court and has won a stay. Had they not done this the policy would have ended and Gay men and women would be serving openly in the military. A supporter of President Obama or not, it is necessary to ask why a President who ran on the repeal of DADT would instruct his justice department to defend a discriminatory policy in court? The official statement is that the President as the chief law enforcer is obligated to defend a policy whether or not his administration agrees with it, but this is simply not true. There are a number of cases when an administration chose to let a court decision stand and did not defend a law it thought obsolete or discriminatory. In fact during the very same week the justice department was defending DADT, it chose to not defend an unrelated court decision that struck down a law the administration did not agree with. This is inconsistency at best and an act of bullying at worst. In taking this action, the President has sent the message to the Gay community that his promises to us mean nothing. He has told us and our kids that we are less than human, easily betrayed, and do not deserve the same rights as heterosexual men and women. Remember that the general population will take its cue from Government on social change. The cue here is, while it’s OK for the Gays to die for your peace and security, their sexual orientation is such an abomination that they must keep it a secret.
The legislative branch is equally guilty of bullying the Gay community, doing so at the expense of the whole country. When the defense authorization bill was before them, a vote was prevented because it contained language repealing DADT. There was no vote taken, no defense budget agreed and no repeal of DADT going into an election that saw control of the house return into right wing Republican hands and the ever dimming hope of the repeal of DADT or any forward movement on Gay Civil rights. The message to the country was clear. Gay people are so inadequate, so sinful, that we are willing to not have a budget that will ensure the continued defense of this country if that bill contains langue that advances the Gay community’s civil rights.
This was not just a failure to lead on a social issue, it was the wrong civil rights and social agenda message to send given the recently well publicized Gay teen suicides. Hate breathes irresponsibility and oppression. This was a classic example of government sanctioned bullying of a disenfranchised segment of society. It is no different than segregated battalions of black soldiers not allowed to mingle openly with white soldiers. The message in both cases is clear. Back then it was, there is something wrong with you if you’re black, now, there is something wrong with you if you’re Gay.
The judicial branch of the government also owns its share in bullying Gay Americans and promoting violence against us that sends our kids into depressions leading them to take their own lives. As mentioned above, a federal court found DADT to be unconstitutional. The Obama administration chose to go to court and defend a policy it says it wants to repeal. The matter went before the Supreme Court of the United States. Last week the highest court in the land handed down a decision staying the judge’s order and allowing the continued enforcement of DADT in the United States for the foreseeable future. The Supreme Court did not act to ensure the rights of all citizens but to perpetuate the discrimination of a minority population of American citizens. In doing so it continued the message that being born Gay is wrong and people who are Gay do not deserve to be afforded the same rights as other Americans, even when willing to die for their country. It is an act of bullying with a clear message to Gay people and our kids that our humanity is inferior and not to be accepted. The Supreme Court failed in its mission to provide a balance between the executive and legislative branch by ensuring the rights of the individual. Personal beliefs and political influences have tarnished the Supreme Court’s reputation and diminished its ability to render fair unbiased decisions.
In recent days parts of the Pentagon’s study on repealing DADT have leaked into the press. The report will say that overall there is no real issue or negative impact within the military preventing the repeal of DADT. The US government knows this, as do the fiercest opponents of Gay civil rights. If the facts do not support the argument, one must ask why our government fails to act on the behalf of Gay soldiers and in doing so perpetuates myths about Gay people that promote hate and violence against us. Faced with the facts of the report, Senator John McCain revealed his next strategy in preventing repeal of DADT. McCain stated that the report was done with the premise that its mission was the repeal of DADT. He went on to state that this will not answer the question as to whether or not DADT should be repealed at all. McCain, even when confronted with the facts, will not change his position, but continues on a mission to promote bigotry against Gay men and women willing to die for their country.
Where is the common sense, the fairness or the image of God in saying to Gay people it is alright for you to go to war and be killed in service to your country as long as you hide the person you were born to be from your country? Where is the common sense or the principles of our constitution in promoting the idea that it is OK for citizens to vote on the civil rights of other citizens? Is it not the promotion of mob rule and the promotion of bullying of a minority by the majority, by our government
The message from the most powerful government on earth is clear. Gay people do not deserve equal rights and protection under the law. In sending this message it is creating an environment in this country that fosters bigotry and violence. In doing so it diminishes the world standing of a country long thought of as a leader in human rights and a beacon of freedom. It is now known as a country with government sponsored hate and violence against its own citizens who are Gay. The United States has become a hollow symbol, a clanging bell of its former self. Gay citizens are simply trying to contribute to society and live out the constitutional principles of pursuing freedom and happiness. As with any population our children are the most vulnerable to suggestion and physical harm. The bully receives the message that it is OK to hurt and dehumanize Gays. The Gay kids hear the same message and live the verbal and physical abuse promoted by it. Heterosexual adults see the abuse and turn a blind eye assuming it is the norm of our society instead of jumping to the defense of our kids. This passive acceptance of bullying happens everyday in schools across this country.
Our kids are a casualty of this war, this terrorism, this genocide. A casualty of government sponsored bullying that is costing us our youth. While there is no sense of urgency to the President’s supposed mission to fight for equal Gay civil rights, which is evidenced by his wasting two years of control in the house and senate, there needs to be a sense of urgency instilled in the Gay community and our supporters. Every hour that goes by, another fist hits the face of a gay kid, another slur is hurled at the ears of Gay kid, and another Gay kid feeling helpless thinks he or she has only one choice, the choice to end his or her life to stop the pain. While we must act with a sense of urgency to change the laws governing our society, we must act with the same sense of urgency to let our kids know that there are better choices than suicide and that there is help for them available from within our own community. Our kids need Gay role models now more than ever who have been through what they live each day. Role models who are willing to expose their lives and experiences to help our kids to know we are fighting for them and will protect them.
MT
P.S. If you are a young Gay man or woman and need help; (re-post)
I understand how you feel. It is a hurt you can’t escape from. You feel dirty, like there is something very wrong with you. It’s hard to look at people. When they look at you, you think they all know. Maybe your parents don’t know yet, maybe they do and have tossed you aside. Maybe you just can’t tell anyone but really need to tell someone who you are and how you are feeling, but there is no one you think you can trust. It seems like it won’t get any better. You are so frightened and so depressed you barely have enough energy to think. When you do, you think of killing yourself to stop the pain. In your head, you feel guilty for being different, dirty and ashamed of who you are. You feel like a disappointment to those who love you. You need to end the bad feelings, the attacks from others, and the pain of who you are. Your scared of ending your life but more afraid of continuing it.
I know how it seems,but I also know that the depth of the pain you are in is clouding your judgment. It does get better. You are not alone. There is help for you. Most importantly there is nothing wrong with you. You were born as you are and meant to be as you are. You are a jewel that is misunderstood. You don’t need to go it alone; you don’t need to end your life to stop the hurting.
There are people like myself that have been through what you are feeling and have made it. We want to help you. We care about you. We love you. When you are through the worst of this, look around. You will see us marrying in more and more states until it is the law of the country. You will see us out in the open in all professions. You will see us celebrate who we are with the friends of our community. Sadly, you will still see those due to ignorance who hate us, but you will see their number decrease. When this moment passes you will see hope,if you just STOP and call out for help
Take a look at the Videos on the YouTube,”It get’s better project” site - http://www.youtube.com/user/itgetsbetterproject . The videos are made by Gay people like you and I, and our friends, to show you that there are many people who care about you, who have been through what you are living through now. They want you to know that it will get better, we do care, and there is help. You are not alone.
There are people like us, Gay people, waiting to help you at the Trevor project. Their number is 866-488-7386, their website is http://www.thetrevorproject.org/. I know it is hard to love yourself right now, but love yourself enough to make this one phone call. I promise you it will help and this moment will pass.
I promise you that people care about you and I know that you are loved. Please make the call.
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